as a little girl, i longed for my real dad. 

as a little girl, i longed to be smart. 

because i felt dumb.

as a little girl, i was cute.

but, i was

broken.

i would have traded in cute for brains.

i struggled in school. 

it did not come easy for me. 

at.all.

i wanted to please my mom.  but, all i did was frustrate her.

but, who wouldn’t be frustrated when your husband leaves you with two kids and you work full time?

she took me to nashville when i was in the 10th grade. 

they gave me a diagnosis. 

and she told me yesterday that i said,”i feel relieved.”

i had an answer to my struggles in school.

back then there were not all the different kinds of treatments available these days.

i always compensated for the things i lacked. 

i worked hard. 

and i was always average. 

average.

and what i have learned is that the Lord has taken these broken places in me and made them

beautiful.

all the broken places that frustrate me. 

hurt me.

He is using to make beautiful.

In Him.

Not any of my own doing. 

all Him.

and He is Good. 

He wants good for me.

for my husband.

for my children.

for my family.

for my friends.

and you.

what He has taught me through my broken places

i wouldn’t trade for anything.

not beauty.

not money.

not brains.

not popularity i.e. facebook friends or fans, instagram & twitter followers.

nothing. 

The Broken Beautiful by Ellie Holcomb

“I know that I don’t bring a lot to the table
Just little pieces of a broken heart
There’s days I wonder if You’ll still be faithful
Hold me together when I fall apart?
Would You remind me now of who You are?

That Your love will never change,
that there’s healing in your name
That You can take broken things,
and make them beautiful
You took my shame
And You walked out of the grave
So Your love can take broken things
and make them beautiful

I’m better off when I begin to remember
How You have met me in my deepest pain
So give me glimpses now of how You have covered
All of my heart ache, oh with all Your grace
Remind me now that You can make a way

You say that You’ll turn my weeping into dancing
Remove my sadness & cover me with joy
You say your scars are the evidence of healing
That You can make the broken beautiful

You make us beautiful, oh oh
You make us beautiful“

You can watch the video here: (you have to watch it because she is adorable.loves Jesus.and has an amazing voice.)

LAST THING.

Today is Mac’s 11th Birthday!  The day you were born is a day I will never forget. Mac, you have been a constant reminder of God’s LOVE, GRACE & MERCY to me. And that He wants good for us. Today we rejoice and celebrate your life. It is a privilege and honor to be your momma. P.S. Mac, if you ever read this.  I want you to not fear the broken places.  We are all broken.  But, broken is beautiful because it will lead you to Jesus.  And He is enough.  Enough. I love you, son.  More than the air I breathe.  momma